I Beseech you to Bespeak your suits & gowns Ladies & Gentlemen, gather your girdles while yea may & glove up for glamour! I resist the strenuous pressure society places on me to wear what they erroneously refer to as casual-attire.
The Tyranny of Casual Wear
Besides who wants to be Casual?
I embrace the Formal! One knows where one is with formal.
Casual is not a state I’m comfortable with. Casual implies a state of lurching chaos, in which a cricket ball or hand-grenade could be hurled into to my life without warning. As a consequence, I’m perpetually what is cruelly termed: “overdressed”.
The world is out to shame me into man-made-fabrics, stretch-fabrics, poly-cotton-mixes & other highly flammable man-made textiles.
When a girl can’t feel safe in candlelight or snuggle up to a hearth, Society has come to the nasty impasse.
We must not surrender our girdles or ballgowns girls! We must stand firm in our whale-bone-corsetry & wiggery & say “No, I eschew your casual, scratchy poly-textiles”.
My doctor; who should have his mind firmly focused on matters of pathology & script-pads assures me – in what I believe to be a kindly fashion – that I’m not required to wear a tiara or ballgown for my weekly blood tests.
But his sartorial censorship is not enough to compel me to give up the beauty of #damask-silks, bias-cut couture, silk-velvets & muslins for the tyranny of this casual attire is just that – A Tyranny against beauty & eccentrics. If I fancy wafting about the hospital in Elizabeth Emanual Couture, a wiggie & tiara why should I be bullied into a shapeless poly tunic? There is nothing casual about clothes that cling to one’s silhouette without the requirement of whalebone corsetry. It is unsettling.
There is an honesty to being laced into a girdle, but I shudder at squeezing my little body into the poly-cling-film.
I shudder at all stretch-fabrics & consequently I am perpetually out-of-step with a society that claims it wants me to feel comfortable.
I am comfortable in my girdles & whale-bone corsetry & ball-gowns.
I am comfortable in cheeky hats & sable-muffs & Georgian-robes
I am comfortable in my dear little wiggies & I am comfortable in a tiara.
No amount of cajoling will implore me to turn my back on sartorial beauty & larkery & embrace the ugliness of gymnasium-wear – when I have never slipped a slippered foot near a gymnasium in my life. As a young girl If I required exercise I would go riding or make my way to the Fencing-Salle or Croquet field in the appropriate costume. Casual clothing seems to me to be excuse to shirk one’s duty to look one’s best or avoid the purchase of the appropriate costume. In short, casual attire is a gateway garb to ugliness & indifference to the finer feelings of others.
The purpose of clothing is to make one feel magnificent and to give joy & delight to others. We all have a responsibility to make the world a little more beautiful & cheery each day in any small way we can.
One does not dress for oneself – that would be unfeeling & selfish.
One dresses to make the world a little bit larkier & prettier.
Stretch fabrics do not add to the overall larkiness or splendour of the world. Casual clothes make me feel nervous & fearful. Most seditious of all, casual-clothes make me feel capable of indifference. Casual clothes, like ready-to-wear are the sartorial gate way to poor posture, indifferent manners & all manner of unattractive seating arrangements. There comes a time when all poetic-minded women & men are urged to take a stand against a tyranny.
A tyranny of Casual-Wear & the poly-mix textile industry that tramples the Eccentric, poetic, literary & artistic-souls under the chariot wheels of casual-clothing & it’s Brutish Supporters. That time has come!
Start embroidering your banners for we are on the march! Heed the call to charms! Don your ballgowns & white-tie, summon all prettily-minded, forward-thinking gentlemen & women to march down Pall-Mall & demand an end to the jack-booted, brown-shirted, tyranny of casual-attire & man-made-fabric proponents & demand gymnasium-wear be contained within the walls of gymnasiums & made of natural fabrics.
I beseech you to bespeak your suits & gowns Ladies & Gentlemen, gather your girdles while yea may & glove up for glamour!